I look in the mirror and see my present,
A presence seen through the lens of the past.
I look in the mirror and see myself for the future,
but only as present version of my past.
‘Can we really see ourselves for who we are?’. ‘Can we look in the mirror and see - really see! - ourselves, with all our perfections and imperfections?’. As I wrote before, in previous posts, I belief we are all perfect. We are human beings created in the image of divine perfection. We are whole, no matter what others say we are. And, more practically, I trust we all have days in which we get up, walk to the bathroom, look in the mirror, and see ourselves for the perfect humans we are. But sometimes I wonder whether we all are capable of seeing our imperfections too. Whether we are able to stand still, see our mirror image on the wall, take a close look and see we are also imperfect. And I don’t mean this in terms of blemishes, facial defects or other bodily shame. We are all beautiful beings, and our peculiarities - if compared to the image of perfection media and society preach - are exactly what makes us unique, I find!
No, I mean imperfections in terms of what we, human beings, can improve on. The mirror-image metaphor is to illustrate we can see ourselves, physically, but the inquiry I make today is more about whether we are able to see beyond our physical appearance. Whether we all have the capacity to be self-critical. Whether we can take ourselves at face value and see our flaws. Whether each of us is blessed with the ability to reflect. To reflect on our doings, on our past failings, on our current behaviours. To reflect on our traits, truths and convictions. To reflect and be challenged in our beliefs. To think critically and change ourselves for the future. I wonder.
As I wrote in my post ‘into perspective…’ (link: ) I share my writings for those people who are willing to progress in life. Who want to learn about themselves and see themselves as capable of changing for the better. I wrote that people search for perspective. That they search the web, read books, and hire coaches to be challenged in their current beliefs. That they do so because they see they are stuck, they are aware that something needs to shift, needs to change in their way of looking at the world, in order to break through that self-erected wall of self-limiting beliefs. It is perspective what I offer in these writings. A new perspective, a fresh perspective, a new way of looking at the world. And I am committed to continue to do so, yet I know more is needed. It takes more than a change of perspective to change yourself. Belief me when I say I know…cause I do!
Yes, I’m well aware it takes courage to take in new perspectives; to see our lives through a different lense; to look into the mirror and see our reflection with different eyes. It’s most difficult to face our reality different, and to see it’s only the mind’s fabrication of the truth. Or better said, the untruth. But merely seeing things differently takes you only so far, I have come to see. It’s about how you deal with all you have unseen. It’s about what you do with these new-seen images of reality. Whether you are able to reflect on these new reflections staring back at you, staring back at you from the reflective glass of the mirror you have been looking into every day. You have been looking into daily, for months? For years? For a lifetime of suffering?
It is reflection, the consideration of what is true and untrue, that brings you closer to your truth. At least, that what I belief. It’s our ability to sit and contemplate, to meditate and let the new-seen perceptions sink in. To let its implications set and settle in on physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels. To presently see that it was only the past, and your absence of presence, that kept you from coming closer to your future. It’s to have these reality-shattering realisations that, in my eyes, really takes courage. That attests to one’s braveness and boldness. That attests to our ability to see change is needed in our lives, and to our overall commitment to this required change. And as I know what it takes to take new perspectives into reflection, I appreciate these privileged few able to face their mirror image, and see theirselves in all their perfection, but also with all their imperfection.
Before I leave you with these new perspectives to reflect on, it feels good to share an example where I, at first, failed to see the truth. Where I was given a different perspective, but shunned to see I needed change in my life. It was during the depressive times when covid dominated, reigned over common sense and my sanity. In the Netherlands we were in full lockdown, with offices, shops and places of leisure closed (hell! They even closed parks, forests and beaches). I was in a bad spot, working tirelessly from home, spending hours behind my computer and with not much pleasure. My relationship was in a rut and I had stopped investing time and energy in my future, my future with her. And it was then that my partner, not able to bear anymore these barren days void of life and pleasure, asked me the following questions:
“What if….we make our dream reality?”.
“What if…we leave this dreary place,
and give life to our desire to live in a dream destination?
“What if we quit our jobs, sell our house and leave our home country for Bali?
“What if we do this not tomorrow, but now?”
And so, she gave me a different perspective. A new perspective - our life is senseless now - that I did not want to acknowledge. I looked into the mirror of my life, seeing through a new set of eyes, yet failed to see its reflection differently. I held on to impossibility, incapability, incapacity and did not want to welcome change. Especially not this kind of change; I had to quit my stable and security-providing job; I was to finish my coaching certification programme; I did not want to leave my family. All this until I chose to sit down, let the current realities of life speak to me, and reflect on what it would mean to leave. Who I needed to be to be able to go. What the implications were of the questions she asked. To confront myself, my fallibilities and flaws, and face the truth of me, my life, our life together. It was then that everything shifted. I had not only changed my perspective, reflected on where I needed to change - stop clinging on to the false pretence of stability - and was now ready to commit and take action. And the rest is history…we live a beautiful life on Bali. So you see, also for me, facing myself fully, with all my perfections and imperfections, is challenging. So see this as a reminder that we are all human.
Then, before I really leave you, let me say I am committed to not let you, my dear readers, fend for yourselves as it comes to reflecting on perspectives. I am currently in the process of conceptualising future offerings. I want to offer you the option to have me walk with you in your journey to self-realisation and self-actualisation. To have me stand beside you when you look in the mirror, to offer you different perspectives and help you face the new reflection. So stay tuned! To those not yet subscribed to my substack, I say, if you want to read more of my writing and want them freshly printed please subscribe!
By the way…there is also the option to become a paid subscriber, if you want to receive the real truth in writing! Thanks for your support!
See you on the other side…
Cheers, yours truly,
Nick