Land of Men (My Journey into Manhood, #2)
Nick Verhagen - Perspectives on Past, Present and Future
The other day I shared what it was like for me to live in No Man’s land. I shared the pain I felt for not feeling a man, for not being able to find the man waiting within me. I shared the hurt of not living up to my masculine potential, and promised I would share about my reclamation of my manhood.
And today I will..
In today’s post I will share with you a part of the challenging journey that awaited me. That waited for me once I chose to connect with my manliness. And it all started when I arrived at the island of gods, that gem in the Indian Ocean called Bali. Before my arrival, my dear friend had warmed me to a space called mentorship. A group of men, a band of brothers, he was part of. A men’s circle he attended and frequented, and wished for me to meet. And so, fresh into my search and with only the awareness of wanting to reclaim my manhood, I jumped on the back of his bike and swerved through Bali’s chaotic rush hour with him to, together, be on time for this men’s gathering.
Alighted at a space, adjacent to rice fields and lighted by early night stars and a fire lit in honour of the evening’s congregation, I attended my first men’s circle. Taking my place I shivered, in fear, for being in the company of men while not feeling manly. The stage was set, guidelines for structure shared, and rounds of introductions from fellow men followed. Unsure of self I shared my name and spoke of my purpose to spent my time with them: an aching desire to learn about self and search for the man residing within myself. Once the space was opened for shares, flowing from the prompt ‘what’s alive for you’, I heard these men speak of subjects I never heard before. I heard them tell stories unknown to me before. I heard them share from their core, their struggles and more. More about being a man. More about what it meant for them to be a man. And I was hooked, wanting more.
And as I started to frequent these circles myself, and in each of these gatherings chose to share more of my inner world and my struggles with my manliness, I came closer. I came closer to the truth I had been acquainted with for longer than I knew. I closed in, closer and closer, to the awareness and solid understanding that I was man, and had been a man for far longer than I acknowledged. Because, you see, with each share from my fellow men, my brothers, I learned I was no different. I learned I was alike, and, like them, a man. A man winning and willing. A man with force and feelings. With power, purpose and integrity. With each of their shares I was mirrored in my manliness, and with each of my own shares, spilling my truths, I was witnessed in my own manhood. And so, soon, I saw I was a man, and a man they were ready to admit to their brotherhood. This circle. This collective of men.
Immense gratitude I feel for my friend, introducing me to this space. For this body of men I can call my brotherhood, and for the lessons I learned from the circle’s collective energy. I feel profound and deep indebtedness to these weekly circles, such an integral part as they played in my reclaiming of my masculine potential. Even more so, because it was in one of these gatherings I met my mentor, the man who introduced me to my masculine core.
At this time I’m not ready to share about this next episode of my reclamation, but it might be in next post. Subscribe if you are not already, and I will keep you posted. And are you ready to connect with your own masculine potential, ready to live, love and lead from your core, check my website nickverhagen.com to see the mentoring I offer to have you connect with your masculine core and help you reclaim your manhood.
Thanks for now, see you soon,
yours truly, Nick